Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What do you respect the most about Elon Musk?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Have you ever been forced into bestiality?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have a reading level above third grade

Why do flat Earthers run away like whipped dogs with their tails between their legs when asked simple questions that expose their delusions as fantasy?

I see through liars

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why is Reagan seen as the best president in the USA when he literally destroyed the American economy with trickle down system and was strongly against worker unions?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I can count

I actually pay taxes

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Would you let your partner cheat on you every now and again?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why do atheists love to preach against Abrahamic religions and mock God? Even if they do not fear the eternal fire of hell, pious Muslims will certainly not leave them alone and will take brutal revenge until they surrender and repent of their sins.

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Why do women like black men?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t cotton to rapists

Who is the dumbest law enforcement officer you have ever encountered?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I can read

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes